Newbie
by QTR
Summary: Oneshot. Greg scares off a new labtech.


**A/N: Hello all! This was an idea that's been in my head for ages! It's just a short one-shot piece! Hope you like it!**

"So, we're getting a new lab-tech?" Greg asked as he walked in the break room, getting down his special stash of coffee.

"Yup," Warrick said.

"Ah..." Nick said with a smile. Taking a deep breath, as if inhaling a sweet aroma, he said, "New blood."

"So Greg," Catherine started, looking over at the younger CSI. "I've been told you're going to be showing them around."

Greg smiled. "Yup," he told her. "You know...showing her the boss' office...locker room...labs, different things like that," he said. And with a wink, he added, "And of course working the old Greg Sanders Charm."

"The Greg Sanders Charm?" Sara asked with a laugh. "You say it as if it's copyrighted and sold, Greg."

"Well, maybe it is," Greg said with a smile. "You know, Papa Olaf used to say--"

"No need to bring Papa Olaf into this, Greg," Nick said with a smile. "We've heard enough about Papa Olaf."

Greg frowned. "You know, Papa Olaf wanted me to keep his spirit strong when he passed."

"Believe us, Greggo- it's strong," Warrick said. "Very strong."

And just then the new lab tech knocked on the doorframe of the break room. She was a short girl, and she couldn't have been older than 25. Wearing her hair back in a tight ponytail, she smiled as she fixed her glasses that were positioned on the bridge of her nose. "Excuse me," she said. "Has anyone seen Greg Sanders? He was supposed to show me around..."

"Right here!" Greg said with a smile. Walking over to her, she held his hand out to her. "I'm Greg Sanders. and your name is...?"

"Megan," the woman said with a smile. "Megan Laurie, I transferred from San Francisco."

"Nice to meet you," Greg said with a smile. Pointing to everyone in the room, he said, "These are my coworkers. Sara, Catherine, Warrick, and Nick."

"Hi," they all said in unison.

"Well!" Greg said. "Let me show you around a bit, huh?" Megan just nodded a little and said goodbye to everyone as she walked off with Greg. "So..." Greg said. "Here's the audio and visual analysis lab," he told her, walking up to the lab. "And this is Archie, he works in here. Kind of hides out in here on the computer." Before Archie could say anything, Greg moved on.

Finally, when the tour was over, Greg said, "So I guess I should tell you a little bit about my coworkers, huh?"

Megan smiled. "It would be nice to know more about them, they seem like really nice people."

"They are, they all really are...though I've got to tell you a few things about them," he told her. "Warnings."

"Warnings?" Megan asked, confused.

"Yes..." Greg said. "You see...Grissom- we've all suspected that he was a vampire at one time or another...he asks for pints of our blood all the time."

"I'm sure he just does that to have them incase something were to happen," Megan said with a shrug.

"No, no!" Greg said. He was having fun with this whole thing, he knew he could make a fantastic story out of this. "I fell asleep at the lab one time, and I could've sworn I saw him walking into the room with a syringe in his hand!"

Megan laughed a little, but Greg could tell she was sounding a bit nervous now.

"And Warrick and Nick- they're really special agents for the CIA. But shh...I didn't tell you that," he told her. "You know- Warrick? He's killed a guy!"

Megan swallowed a little. He had to be kidding...

"And Catherine..." he said with a sigh. "Catherine, Catherine, Catherine...what a woman. She may look like a normal mother and CSI, but she's not. Least not from what I've heard. You know, I heard she was a terrible bully in school. Made the guys cry," he told her.

Megan just nodded slowly, her eyes open wide.

"And Sara..." he said. "Sara's the worst. We call her 'The Snake'. Every word she says pours out of her mouth like venom," he told her. "Don't get on her bad side, or you'll regret it," he said. "Because...you never know...when she'll..." Looking around behind him, he was able to get Megan's gaze to follow his. Then when she was off-guard, he said quickly, "GET YA!"

Megan ran out of the lab screaming, "YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF TOTAL FREAKS! I'M GOING BACK TO SAN FRANCISCO!"

Warrick sighed, handing Nick some money from his wallet. "Warrick, you killed someone?" Nick asked with a chuckle.

Catherine poked her head out from one of the labs. "So what am I? Mom by day, CSI and cape crusader by night?"

Sara stood in the doorway with her arms crossed. "'The Snake'? How original, Greg," she said with a laugh. And then with a smile, she said, "Poor kid should've just stayed in San Francisco."

Grissom walked out of his office. "Greg, the next time you decide to do scare off a lab tech we don't want to hire, don't say I'm a vampire," he told him. "The correct term is _nosferatu._"

Greg laughed. "I'll try to remember that next time."


End file.
